They Don’t Want My $$
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From: YowCow To: Me Subject: Please activate your YowCow accountSent: Mon, 13 Dec 2004 08:45:17 -0700 Dear Derek, You’re almost done signing up! Please click on this link (or copy and paste it into your browser) to complete the process: https://www.yowcow.com/activate.php?[linkhere] Thanks for choosing YowCow, Andrea Yowcow Accounts ——-Original Message——-
From: YowCow To: Me Subject: Pending FastPaymentSent: Mon, 13 Dec 2004 08:45:27 -0700 Time Since Last Email: 10 seconds. Excellent.Pending FastPayment Greetings, You have made the following FastPayment: Payment from: Derek Martin Payment to: Fantasy Photographs LLC (sellerEmail) Qty Item Options Price 1 HaXXXor Volume 1 DVD (H001) $10.00 USD 1 HaXXXor Volume 2 DVD (H002) $20.00 USD Subtotal: $30.00 USD YowCow processing fee: $0.75 USD Total: $30.75 USD IMPORTANT!! This does not complete your transaction!! You now need to get your payment to us in the method that you chose. Here is a link to the payment submission form that you need to fax to us: Credit card funding form. Thanks for choosing YowCow Andrea YowCow Accounts WTF was that? FAX?? You have GOT to be joking! I thought this was e-Commerce! Where’s the E?!
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From: YowCow To: Me Subject: Welcome to YowCow!Sent: Mon, 13 Dec 2004 08:50:37 -0700 Time Since Last Email: 5 minutes. Excellent.Dear Derek, Welcome to YowCow! Your account has been activated! Login to your account following this link: https://www.yowcow.com/login.php Your account details are as follows: ————————————————— First name: Derek Last name: Martin Address 1: 55 Lorindale Avenue, W107 Address 2: City: Toronto State/Province: ON Zip/Postal Code: M5M3C3 Country: CAHomepage: Phone Number: 4164853793 ————————————————— Email: [myemailhere] ————————————————— Thanks for choosing YowCow! Andrea YowCow Accounts Note that they definitely have my country information, and full address.
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From: YowCow To: Me Subject: Your pending order with Fantasy Photographs LLCSent: Fri, 17 Dec 2004 00:00:02 -0700 Time Since Last Email: 4 days. Reminder Message, so OK.Hello Derek ([myemailhere]), This is a reminder of your pending transaction 4 days ago with Fantasy Photographs LLC. As we mentioned on the order form, you have two weeks from the date of your order to get your funding information to us and so far, we have not received anything from you. If you still wish to complete this transaction, please send your payment information using any of the following methods: —————————————————————- Credit card: https://www.yowcow.com/info/fastpay_creditcard.php?[linkhere] Check: https://www.yowcow.com/info/fastpay_check.php?[linkhere] ACH: https://www.yowcow.com/info/fastpay_ach.php?[linkhere] —————————————————————- For your information, the detail of your transaction is as follows: HaXXXor Volume 1 DVD (H001) HaXXXor Volume 2 DVD (H002) If you would like to cancel this pending order, please click on the following link — your order will then be cancelled, and you will not receive any further reminder emails. https://www.yowcow.com/fastpaycancel.php?[linkhere] Thanks for choosing YowCow Andrea YowCow Accounts I had been trying to send it, but their fax machine wasn’t answering!
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From: YowCow To: Me Subject: Your pending order with Fantasy Photographs LLCSent: Tue, 21 Dec 2004 00:00:03 -0700 Hello Derek ([myemailhere]), This is a reminder of your pending transaction 8 days ago with Fantasy Photographs LLC. As we mentioned on the order form, you have two weeks from the date of your order to get your funding information to us and so far, we have not received anything from you. If you still wish to complete this transaction, please send your payment information using any of the following methods: —————————————————————- Credit card: https://www.yowcow.com/info/fastpay_creditcard.php?[linkhere] Check: https://www.yowcow.com/info/fastpay_check.php?[linkhere] ACH: https://www.yowcow.com/info/fastpay_ach.php?[linkhere] —————————————————————- For your information, the detail of your transaction is as follows: HaXXXor Volume 1 DVD (H001) HaXXXor Volume 2 DVD (H002) If you would like to cancel this pending order, please click on the following link — your order will then be cancelled, and you will not receive any further reminder emails. https://www.yowcow.com/fastpaycancel.php?[linkhere] Thanks for choosing YowCow Andrea YowCow Accounts ——-Original Message——-
From: Me To: accounts@yowcow.com Subject: Re: Your pending order with Fantasy Photographs LLCSent: Tue, 21 Dec 2004 21:17:16 -0800 Time Since Last Email: 21 hours. Another reminder. OkI have attempted, 20 times, to fax you my payment confirmation. Each time I had to pay a local business store to send the fax. Each time your equipment refused to answer the fax. What to do? Derek Martin ——-Original Message——-
From: Accounts To: Me Subject: [ #BIR-88099-508]: Re: Your pending order with Fantasy Photographs LLCSent: Mon, 27 Dec 2004 11:28:59 -0700 Time Since Last Email: 6 days!! HORRIBLE!!Sorry that it has taken so long to reply, we have been up-grading our systems and this has put a temporary strain on the turn around time of e-mail requests. The toll free number does not work in most of Canada. You can try to use 1-513-474-7229 or the form can be scanned and e-mailed to ezifunding@yowcow.com [salesRepNameOmitted] YowCow.com ——- Site: www.yowcow.com FAQ: www.yowcow.com/faq.htm Security: www.yowcow.com/security.htm Security is always an inconvenience until you get burned ——————— This email and any files transmitted with it are confidential and intended solely for the use of the individual or entity to whom they are addressed and may contain information that is privileged or otherwise confidential. It is not intended for transmission to, or receipt by, any individual or entity other than the named addressee (or a person authorized to deliver it to the named addressee) except as otherwise expressly permitted in this email. Unauthorized disclosure, modification or distribution is expressly prohibited. If you have received this email in error please notify the YowCow manager: https://www.yowcow.com/contact.htm I can *try* to use another number? You’re not sure if it will work either?? They *had* my country information from the form I filled out, so why didn’t their web application automatically send me the *correct* fax number? And why didn’t it mention the email option in the first place? Also, why was this message from a different address than the rest? AAAAND note the 6 *day* delay! in responding to my message! It gets even better, though. I was on Christmas vacation in Petrolia when he replied, and my “2 week leaway” expired before I could get the stuff to him, so I had to start all over again!
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From: YowCow To: Me Subject: Please activate your YowCow accountSent: Fri, 14 Jan 2005 08:29:29 -0700 Time Since Last Email: 18 days. Need I say more?Dear Derek, You’re almost done signing up! Please click on this link (or copy and paste it into your browser) to complete the process: https://www.yowcow.com/activate.php?[linkhere] Thanks for choosing YowCow, Andrea Yowcow Accounts Thank GOD I’m almost done signing up!!
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From: YowCow To: Me Subject: Pending FastPaymentSent: Fri, 14 Jan 2005 08:29:35 -0700 Time Since Last Email: 6 secondsPending FastPayment Greetings, You have made the following FastPayment: Payment from: Derek Martin ([myemailhere]) Payment to: Fantasy Photographs LLC (sellerEmail) Qty Item Options Price 1 HaXXXor Volume 1 DVD (H001) $10.00 USD 1 HaXXXor Volume 2 DVD (H002) $20.00 USD Subtotal: $30.00 USD YowCow processing fee: $0.75 USD Total: $30.75 USD IMPORTANT!! This does not complete your transaction!! You now need to get your payment to us in the method that you chose. Here is a link to the payment submission form that you need to fax to us: Credit card funding form. Thanks for choosing YowCow Andrea YowCow Accounts I think I’ll scan and emial it this time! The word “FastPayment” is getting more ironic by the minute!
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From: YowCow To: Me Subject: Welcome to YowCow!Sent: Fri, 14 Jan 2005 08:32:58 -0700 Time Since Last Email: 4 minutesDear Derek, Welcome to YowCow! Your account has been activated! Login to your account following this link: https://www.yowcow.com/login.php Your account details are as follows: ————————————————— First name: Derek Last name: Martin Address 1: 55 Lorindale Avenue, W107 Address 2: City: Toronto State/Province: ON Zip/Postal Code: M5M3C3 Country: CAHomepage: Phone Number: 4164203218 ————————————————— Email: [myemailhere] ————————————————— Thanks for choosing YowCow! Andrea YowCow Accounts ——-Original Message——-
From: YowCow To: Me Subject: Your funding authorization was receivedSent: Tue, 18 Jan 2005 05:23:22 -0700 Time Since Last Email: 4 days!! To receive a scan! HORRIBLE!!Your funding authorization was received! Hello Derek Martin This is a courtesy email to let you know that we have received your payment authorizationM for HaXXXor Volume 1 DVD (H001), HaXXXor Volume 2 DVD through Fantasy Photographs LLC. Now that we have your signed authorization to proceed, we will be submitting it to our processing department and you’ll receive an email when your transaction has been fully processed. Possible delays on this process are: * No processing is done on weekends * Your issuing bank may take some time notifying us of the funding transfer (in the case of ACH transfers) * You have not provided all the information we need (we will contact you in this case) * The funds are not actually available in your account, or there are problems with your account (we will contact you) * You have not activated your YowCow account! (please ensure that you have taken this simple, vital step!) Thanks for choosing YowCow, and we’re looking forward to funding your account so your transaction can complete quickly and successfully! Andrea YowCow Accounts HOLY SHIT! ALMOST HOMEFREE. Wait, just my authorization? Not the payment itself? WHY DID IT TAKE THEM 4 DAYS TO GET MY FUNDING AUTHORIZATION VIA EMAIL?? I suspect that the masochistic cows aren’t keen workers!
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From: YowCow To: Me Subject: Your FastPay transaction has been processedSent: Thu, 20 Jan 2005 05:39:04 -0700 Time Since Last Email: 2 days!! HORRIBLE!!Your FastPay transaction has been processed Dear Derek, Your FastPay transaction with Fantasy Photographs LLC has been processed.Item name: HaXXXor Volume 1 DVD (H001), HaXXXor Volume 2 DVD (H002) Amount: $30.00 YowCow processing fee: $0.75 Total: $30.75 We also sent a confirmation note to the merchant on your behalf to make them aware of this. Login to your account following this link: https://www.yowcow.com/login.php Thanks for choosing YowCow Andrea YowCow Accounts Hallelujah for payment processing! but ex-fucking-scuse me? It is NOT “FastPay”. THANK YOU FOR CHOOSING YOWCOW? FUCK YOUUUUUU! I DIDN’T! I WAS FORCED INTO IT! That’s like telling a condemned Texan inmate “Thanks for Choosing The Electric Chair!”
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From: Me To: webmaster@haxxxor.com; Accounts Subject: YowCow and “FastPay”Sent: Thu, 20 Jan 2005 10:40:28 -0500 Time Since Last Email: 5 hours“FastPay” ?? I can’t believe it took you guys 6 days to process that transaction. I was hoping to receive the DVDs by Friday, but I guess that won’t be happening. Ordering from you was the most difficult process I’ve ever been through, online. I started trying to order on Dec 13th. Your fax machines wouldn’t answer. I waited a week for customer service to respond. Couldn’t get to a fax machine over christmas, so the 2 week period passed, and I had to start over. From start to finish it took a month to order from you, plus 6 additional days for the transaction to be processed. HORRIBLE! Hook yourselves up with PayCom or Jettis or iBill or something. They all process adult transactions. Derek Martin Professional Web Developer ——-Original Message——-
From: Severed Dreams To: Me Sent: Thu, 20 Jan 2005 16:33:16 -0700 Subject: Re: A customer’s FastPay transaction has been processed****Time Since Last Email: 6 days!! HORRIBLE!!Hi there, I’ve got the funds for your payment, now please e-mail me your mailing address and I’ll get your order out asap. Regards, Aaron WHY DOES HE NOT HAVE MY ADDRESS? You saw above that I filled that out online! Am I about to be h4XxX0r3d?
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From: To: Me Subject: Did you get what you paid for? Sent: Thu, 20 Jan 2005 16:39:00 -0700 Time Since Last Email: 6 hoursHello [myemailhere] You recently ordered goods or services (or simply paid money) to Fantasy Photographs LLC (http://www.haxxxor.com) through YowCow. Before we make your funds available to the seller or merchant, it’s our policy to check with each customer to ensure that they have received what they paid for. This helps stop a significant source of internet fraud. Have you received what you paid for in a timely manner? Did this transaction conclude successfully? ——————————————————————————————- If the transaction has been concluded to your satisfaction and if you have received what you paid for, would you be kind enough to click on this link below to let us know? (Please be aware that clicking this link will make your funds available to the seller.) https://www.yowcow.com/sellerfeedback.php?[linkhere] ——————————————————————————————- If the transaction has not successfully completed yet, if you have doubts that it will, or if you have received the item and there’s a problem with what you received, we would like to hear about it: https://www.yowcow.com/sellerfeedback.php?[linkhere] ——————————————————————————————- We take security for our users very seriously and your response will help us spot any problems quickly and fix them. Thanks in advance for taking the time to respond and thanks for using YowCow.com. :) Andrea YowCow Accounts accounts@yowcow.com This email says that YowCow doesn’t release my funds until I get what I ordered, so how is it that Guy already has my funds? Do I trust h4xXx0r?
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From: Me To: Severed Dreams Sent: Thu, 20 Jan 2005 20:18:53 -0500 Subject: Re: Re: A customer’s FastPay transaction has been processed****Time Since Last Email: 3.5 hours>>I’ve got the funds for your payment, now please e-mail me your mailing address and I’ll get your order out asap. Are you kidding? I filled out all that stuff online. I don’t understand your crazy system *at all*, but, whatever. Derek Martin 55 Lorindale Avenue, W107 Toronto, Ontario, Canada M5M-3C3 phone: 416.485.3793 cell: 416.420.3218 Thanks, Derek ——-Original Message——-
From: Severed Dreams To: Me Sent: Thu, 20 Jan 2005 19:58:06 -0700 Subject: Re: A customer’s FastPay transaction has been processed Okay Derek, Here’s the deal. I didn’t program YowCow. I have no control over YowCow. I think it’s awkward to have to ask people for their mailing addresses. However since PayPal stopped permitting anyone to use their service for anything adult related over a year ago, I’ve been forced to go with third party billing providers that provide less quality. I don’t like it any more than you do, but that’s just the way things are. Just like I’d like for you to be able to go out to your local video store in Toronto to buy a copy, or a video store to rent a copy, but I don’t have the money or the will to run it through the Ontario censorship board. Once again, not something I’m happy about, but I live with it because other people with more power, control and resources than me have made it that way. If you think that being rude to me will change a system that I have no control over, then feel free to continue behaving this way. Regards, Aaron That made me feel like I’m a total ass, but this process was really ridiculous! Wasn’t it?
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From: Me To: Severed Dreams Sent: Thu, 20 Jan 2005 20:38:17 -0500 Subject: Re: Re: A customer’s FastPay transaction has been processed Hi Aaron, Please understand that I have been trying to order these since December 13th, and have had to sign up several times due to massive flaws in this system — their fax maching breaking, them sending me the wrong fax #, my 2 week grace period running out before they could get me a working number, etc. So, sorry for being bitchy. I’m a web developer, so it pains me even more to know that YowCow can even be in business with such a horrible system. If I were not web savvy, I would have abandoned this transaction over a month ago. Literally. But I really want your product. I think it’s *damn* cool. I am rooting for you. I want you to be able to sell more. When I get them I’ve already arranged to have all the guys over from work for a HaXxXoR party! I just wish there was an easier system for you. FYI, iBill, Paycom, and Jettis will all process transactions for your type of product. I hope that helps. Hope you are actually making enough to get by despite YowCow’s painful process. Take care, Derek
Comments from my old blog:
(Richard)[http://www.braeken.com] said: Well let’s hope that the DVDs are not completely crap…. at 2005-01-21 14:12:49
dad said: lol,methinks the potential “hacker” has to appreciate the pain intended for their potential “hackee”.sheer frustration!!!! at 2005-01-21 16:17:53
mom said: derek broke his leg this morning and will not be online for awhile, just wanted to let you know, hugs at 2005-01-28 01:44:46